For me, this blog is therapeutic, primarily. I also like the idea that these thoughts are out there for someone to find who can relate, since finding the fat-o-sphere blogs has been amazing for me. I have mixed feelings about keeping the blog anonymous. It really serves the therapy purpose, because it means I don’t need to restrict what I feel that I need to say, and I do quite a bit of restricting in the rest of my life, so it’s nice to have a place without it. On the other hand, it means that some of the THINGS I BELIEVE stay in this little world, and that an entire side of me is only expressed here. Sometimes I want all of these things to be out there, and linked to me, but sometimes I don’t.
There’s also the issue of activism. I’d like to participate more in fat and body acceptance activism, and I feel like if all of this were out there, accessible to anyone who knows me, it would be easy, in some ways. Also, I like the idea of posting photos of myself as a way of getting more fat bodies visible. But do I want to come out as fat? And even then, do I want all of these personal issues (eating disorders, family, etc.) to be accessible for everyone I know? I’m a very private person, and I don’t know if that’s how I want to keep it or not. Nearly-29 is becoming a very mentally-tumultuous time for me.